


Champagne Bonuses

by darlingargents



Series: Ladies Bingo 2017/2018 [6]
Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Community: ladiesbingo, Crushes, Drunk Kissing, F/F, Flirting, Humor, Paris (City), a LOT of alcohol, blatant usa hatred, eleanor 'what are feelings i don't know her' shellstrop, entirely sober and very vague sexy bits, not a season 2 au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 10:32:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13925307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingargents/pseuds/darlingargents
Summary: Eleanor Shellstrop has somehow ended up with the job of Tahani Al-Jamil’s personal assistant. No, she’s not really sure how, either.God help both of them.





	Champagne Bonuses

**Author's Note:**

> Ladies Bingo square **Europe**. We don't see much of it! But it's there!
> 
> Anyway, I love these ladies. And I love Chidi too. But this is a femslash challenge, so he'll have to wait. Sorry dude.

This trip to Paris was not going well.

Firstly, Tahani, having donated the vast majority of her profits that year to charity, had to take a commercial airline. First class had never felt more offensive. The man across the aisle from her had been snoring for the entire flight. It had completely ruined her complimentary meal, though with its quality, Tahani supposed it hadn’t been entirely the snoring man’s fault.

Secondly, she had lost one of her suitcases. Lost. Her. Suitcase. She’d spent nearly twenty minutes shouting at an airport worker before making arrangements to replace the contents. In total, nearly a half-hour lost on that. Ridiculous.

And of course, finally, her new assistant was, simply put, disastrous.

Sure, she got the job done. She fetched the coffee on time, kept her appointments in order, and had inserted herself so thoroughly into the planning process for Tahani’s trip that she’d made arrangements for herself to come along in order to continue “helping”. But Eleanor Shellstrop was disrespectful, selfish, standoffish, American, and her eyes glazed over when Tahani asked her what her favourite designer brand was.

It was only out of amusement that Tahani didn’t fire her. Of course it was.

* * *

Eleanor was not entirely sure how she’d gotten this job.

Six months ago, she’d been in Arizona, looking for change. She’d heard that her ex-boyfriend had moved to London, so she’d hopped on a plane with most of her things and gone to see if she could con anything out of him. Money, maybe. She’d pulled the fake-pregnant trick a few times before, and it usually worked. It had been almost two years since she’d seen this boyfriend, but, well, he wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. She’d figured she could still get some mileage out of the old trick.

But she’d gotten to London and found out that the boyfriend had actually moved to London, Ontario. And there was no way in hell she was going to pack up and go straight to Canada, and it had been too much work to consider going back to Phoenix — and she’d never really liked it there, anyway, and maybe this was the universe’s way of telling her she needed a change in her life. So she’d found a cheap apartment, and applied for a few jobs, before finding one covered in warnings while browsing wine-drunk and tired from a long day of sleeping behind her desk. DO NOT TAKE THIS JOB, it said. YOU’LL QUIT BY THE END OF THE MONTH.

Well, Eleanor could never resist a challenge.

And it had mentioned certain perks. Including travel. And she didn’t need any experience. That was probably the bigger reason.

Which was at least part of the reason she’d ended up as Tahani Al-Jamil’s likely-illegal personal assistant. Why Tahani had hired her with no experience and no papers was certainly a question, but hey: Eleanor was making $80,000 (in American dollars; she wasn’t sure if Tahani _knew_ she was an illegal American immigrant, but she had a feeling the other woman at least suspected it) a year for this, and she wasn’t going to rock the boat.

And, of course, here she was in Paris, somehow having convinced Tahani to give her half-days and spend the rest of the time on her own.

She’d spent the morning shadowing Tahani, who had been taking selfies by the Seine, taking selfies at the Notre Dame Cathedral, and taking selfies on the way up the Eiffel Tower. She’d given Tahani a few different messages. And now it was the evening. She’d spent the afternoon watching reruns of cooking shows and stalking a few people on Instagram, and was considering going down to the hotel bar for food. Maybe a hookup. Who knew.

But it was always good to be a bit wasted before these things, so she put away half a bottle of some expensive drink — on Tahani’s tab, of course — before heading down to the bar.

It was, sadly, almost empty, and the only patrons there didn’t exactly seem like hookup material. They were mostly businessmen who were a bit too old for Eleanor’s taste.

Annoying. But oh well. She ordered some sliders and a drink that sounded tooth-rotting sugary, and sat at the bar, listening to the businessmen talk as she ate and sipped on the definitely over-sweetened drink. They were speaking French, so she couldn’t understand what they were saying, but it felt nice to eavesdrop anyway. It was a talent of hers. It was good to remember that she was good at things.

Okay, maybe she was a little too drunk. That seemed like a strange turn of her thoughts. Also, there was no way that was Tahani walking into the bar wiping away tears and ordering six shots of their strongest drink.

Eleanor blinked at her. She looked a little blurry around the edges, but that was definitely the sleek black dress Eleanor had picked out for her event tonight. She couldn’t remember what the event was, exactly, but she remembered the dress; Tahani’s boobs had looked better in it than any other dress she’d been considering, so that was the one Eleanor had gone for. And she could see, now, that she’d made the right choice. The dress cut low on her chest and high on her legs, showing off miles — or kilometres, as Tahani would so cheerily remind her — of gorgeous, flawless skin. Her hair was piled on top of her head in crown-like braids, showing off her long, elegant neck. Her eyes were reddened by her tears, which shouldn’t be attractive, but somehow it made her eyes look bigger and more striking, and the smudged eyeliner gave her almost a rock star look.

Tahani looked… really fucking hot, actually.

She blinked again, looking away from Tahani and back at her glass. Where had _that_ thought come from? It wasn’t like she was unaware of Tahani’s attractiveness, but she knew Tahani was her boss, and probably straight; she’d managed to shut down any such thoughts when they’d showed up before. But now she was just a little too drunk.

This might turn out really bad. But it also might turn out… really good.

Hm.

“Tahani!” she said, way too loudly. The bartender shot her an annoyed look as Tahani turned slowly and stared at her.

“Eleanor,” she said after a long moment. She drew herself up to her full height — very, very impressive, especially considering she was wearing heels — and seemed to compose herself. “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be… sightseeing.”

“M’tired. Too much hard work!” She tried to give a wining smile. Tahani’s flat look made her think she wasn’t succeeding. Oh well. She patted the seat next to her, even though she thought it was probably a bad idea. “Why aren’t you are your… thingy? Sit down, let’s talk about it.”

Tahani rolled those gorgeous eyes and sat down, crossing her legs at the ankle. The bartender returned with Tahani’s six shots, and Eleanor watched as Tahani downed three within a minute before looking in Eleanor’s direction.

“I was at my… thingy. My fundraiser. We raised… two million for inner-city pet bird causes. Very noble. But then…” Tahani’s lip curled, and she glared into space with a look of utter hatred on her beautiful face. “Kamilah.”

She downed another shot. Eleanor blinked at her.

“Kamilah? Your sister? What… what about her? What’s wrong with her? I like her music.”

Tahani let out a hysterical laugh and downed another shot, slamming it down. The bartender refilled it as she slid her last original shot closer. “Of course you do! Of course. Even my own personal fucking assistant likes Kamilah’s music. Pardon my… my fucking language.”

Eleanor laughed. “Whoa, girl!” She’d never heard Tahani swear before. In her accent, it was surprisingly… hot. Of course. Drunk Eleanor apparently thought everything about Tahani was hot. “Maybe you’ve had a little too much to drink.”

Tahani seemed to consider this for a moment, and then smiled. She downed the two shots in front of her and gestured for more. “Not enough, I should think. I would like to forget everything about this night. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Mm-hm.” Well, Eleanor didn’t want to forget how Tahani looked tonight, but that was her business. And Tahani clearly wanted to drink to forget. A valid cause. “Well, I’m not on the clock, but as your assistant, I can keep an eye on you. Make sure you get back to your room okay and all that.”

“Yes.” Tahani fixed her gaze on Eleanor, as much as she could. “Overtime. I’ll pay you. Overtime. With… champagne bonuses.”

Eleanor let out a snort of laughter. “That’s not a thing.”

“It is now.”

* * *

Tahani drank until she was almost passing out, and Eleanor managed to drag her back up to her room and get her into bed without too much trouble. Tahani was bigger than Eleanor, but Eleanor had muscles built up from all the times she’d helped her friends move and then helped herself to some of their valuables which she could claim got lost in the move. And she’d certainly had experience dealing with blackout drunk people.

Though usually she was equally drunk. She’d stopped drinking this time once Tahani had gotten past the point of coherence. When she actually thought about that, she got a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach that she wanted to drink away.

Eleanor left Tahani in her room and went back to her own, falling asleep within minutes.

* * *

Surprisingly, Eleanor’s hangover wasn’t too terrible when her alarm woke her the next morning. She went through her shower and makeup half-asleep, but her head wasn’t pounding too badly when she went to wake up Tahani for her meeting with a local children’s hospital at 11.

Tahani was still asleep. Not a shock, considering how many of those shots she’d put away the night before. Eleanor woke her up and ignored her grumbling, just handed her some painkillers for her likely awful headache and picked out an outfit for her while she showered.

The hospital visit went fine.

They didn’t talk about the night before, which was just fine with Eleanor. Although, honestly, it was pretty unlikely that Tahani even remembered it. For some reason, that made her feel almost… sad.

Because of the overtime and champagne bonuses she was missing. Of course, that was it. Right.

* * *

Except it turned out that Tahani probably remembered after all, because when Eleanor got back to her room after her afternoon off — she’d wandered around the city and bought some cute scarves and hats as souvenirs — there were six bottles of champagne, cooled by ice, sitting on her dresser. She had started getting a rich-person second sense, working with Tahani, and she could tell immediately that those bottles were expensive. Even on her inflated salary, a single bottle would’ve been next to impossible to afford.

There was a note, tucked underneath the basket that held the bottles. The paper was pink with a barely-noticeable flowery pattern, and the words on it were written with purple ink in flowing cursive.

_I owe you some champagne bonuses, Eleanor. Thank you._

_-Tahani_

Something swooped low and uncomfortable in Eleanor’s stomach. Something uncomfortably close to butterflies. She put down the note and picked up one of the bottles, uncorking it and pouring herself a glass. She sat on the bed and kicked off her heels, taking a sip.

It was, of course, delicious. But something about this felt… off.

Which was weird, because this was Eleanor’s normal. Not the location or the price of the alcohol, but she was no stranger to drinking alone and passing out after watching Food Network for an hour. None of this was remotely unfamiliar territory, but it didn’t feel right.

She took another sip and stared at the glass. Held it up to the light, watching the bubbles float by. She didn’t get it. It didn’t make any sense that this would feel wrong, except…

She didn’t want to be drinking alone. And she wanted one drinking partner specifically.

Well, shit. That was it. That was probably the worst possible situation to be in with her boss.

But the fact that it was inconvenient didn’t mean she didn’t want to be with Tahani. Be _with_ her, in several ways.

Eleanor sighed, picked up her phone and the bottle, and made her way to Tahani’s room.

* * *

Tahani wasn’t sure, exactly, what she was feeling, but it was… strange.

Eleanor had helped her, had watched her fall apart and stood by her side to hold her up and make sure she was back together again by the next morning. Eleanor had probably been drunk too, trying to enjoy her night, and had taken the time to help Tahani into bed to sleep off the alcohol.

Tahani wasn’t proud of her language, or her tone, even talking about Kamilah, but Eleanor had handled it with grace, and probably wasn’t going to tell anyone. That was valuable. And certainly worth the amount she’d spent on the champagne.

Well, she thought as she smoothed a cream mask over her face — even skin as perfect as hers had its needs — at least Eleanor would be able to enjoy it, and she could enjoy a relaxing night away from her own confusing thoughts.

Two knocks sounded from her suite door.

Tahani blinked at herself in the bathroom mirror, and made her way through the suite to look through the eyehole in the door of her suite. Eleanor stood there, holding a bottle of champagne tucked under her and two glasses, one already full. Tahani wasn’t quite sure how she was managing to not spill the filled glass as she reached out to knock again.

Baffled, Tahani opened the door. “Eleanor! What a lovely surprise.”

“Yeah, hot stuff, I know.” Eleanor seemed almost nervous, which was new. She’d never seen Eleanor lose her cool or get ruffled by anything. “Thanks for the bonuses, I’m gonna enjoy them. But it seemed like a shame to start off the first bottle on my own.”

“Well,” Tahani said, already knowing this was a bad idea and still trying to fight down a wide smile, “come on in, then.”

* * *

Eleanor had booked the rooms, so she knew already Tahani’s was much nicer than hers. But seeing it was a bit much. Last time she’d been in here, she’d been a bit out of it, and Tahani had been blackout drunk so she hadn’t turned on any of the lights. Now, with the luxury of illumination and time to observe, she could see how fancy it was. More than twice as big as her suite, with a whole separate living room, crystal decorations everywhere, and furniture that looked like it belonged in an palace. It was the most _Tahani_ place she’d ever seen in her life.

She sat on Tahani’s couch — surprisingly comfortable, despite how expensive it looked — with her legs half tucked under her, sipping the champagne and making small talk with Tahani. She was keeping a mental count of how many names Tahani had dropped; they had been here for ten minutes and she was at eleven.

It had annoyed the hell out of her, at first. But now she found it almost endearing.

Yeah, Eleanor was pretty sure she was going to kiss Tahani before the night was out, especially if she kept drinking. But that was a problem for the Eleanor of tomorrow, so she took another sip of her champagne and smiled wide at Tahani’s story. Her storytelling was even more entertaining when she was tipsy.

“…and that was how I raised the last five million needed to kickstart this cause. Such fun!”

“I can’t believe the entire cast of Harry Potter was involved,” Eleanor said.

“Well, not all of them. Some of them are _American_! Heaven forbid.” Tahani shuddered dramatically, taking an elegant sip of her champagne. She was on her second glass now. She suddenly paused and squinted at Eleanor. “Wait, you’re American.”

“Guilty as charged.”

“Hmm. I’ve never befr— employed an American before.” Tahani blushed, in that unfairly attractive and flattering way of hers — a faint glow added to her naturally stunning face. Eleanor was probably a bit too tipsy to tell for sure, but she was pretty sure that Tahani had almost said they were friends. She hid her smile by lifting her glass to take another sip. “Why did you come to England, anyway?” Tahani asked.

Eleanor shrugged. “Got a bit bored of Phoenix, honestly.” They were making progress, but Eleanor thought that her real reason might be a little much to tell Tahani. She was her boss, after all.

…And that was the only reason why. She absolutely wouldn’t have a problem telling Tahani about her old boyfriends, not at all, because they were friends. Just friends. That’s all.

Being drunk made it a little harder to lie to herself. Eleanor frowned, and shoved the thoughts away. Emotions were for sober Eleanor. Or no Eleanor, really, because she didn’t need to deal with her emotions at all if she just buried them. It had worked for all her life so far, at least.

“ _America_.” Tahani shuddered again. “Don’t feel bad, Eleanor, but I am very glad I don’t have to set foot in that country.”

“Me too.” She wasn’t going to say it, but she thought moving to London might’ve been the best mistake of her life.

“Mistake?”

So she had been saying it out loud. Damn it.

She shrugged as casually as she could. “You know, sometimes your life is in a downward spiral and you need a bit of cash and you blow the last of what you have on a plane ticket to the wrong city. The wrong country, actually.”

“Hm.” Tahani looked at her, looking uncharacteristically serious — and almost a little nervous. “And you don’t regret it?”

Eleanor laughed, and gestured in wide arm-sweeps around the room. “I’m drinking fancy champagne in Paris with one of the world’s hottest women. I’m doing pretty well, I think.”

Tahani flushed bright red at the Eleanor calling her hot, and let out a nervous, tittering laugh that sounded like a teakettle. “Well, I wouldn’t say the _world’s_ hottest…”

“You stupid, sexy giraffe.” And before she could think it through, Eleanor was kissing her.

The kiss tasted like champagne and Tahani’s lipgloss was sticking to Eleanor’s and they were both tipsy enough that they couldn’t find a decent angle and it was really quite awkward. Eleanor broke away after a few moments and wiped at her lips, realizing a moment later that she was straddling Tahani’s legs, and Tahani’s hands were resting on her hips. Their glasses were gone, somewhere, and Eleanor would’ve taken a moment to mourn the likely lost alcohol if she hadn’t seen Tahani’s face.

Tahani looked dazed, her cheekbones flaring bright in a brilliant blush, and her eyes were almost glassy. Some of it was the alcohol, surely, but she smiled at Eleanor and something in her stomach seemed to twist in on itself.

“I think we’re both too drunk for this,” Tahani said, and Eleanor nodded in agreement, trying to ignore her disappointment. “So you can sleep here and we can reevaluate in the morning.”

Eleanor blinked at her. “Um.”

Tahani kissed her again, and this time it was less awkward, and long enough for Eleanor to lose her breath. When Tahani pulled away, she was smiling. “Come to bed, Eleanor.”

That was her first night sleeping beside Tahani Al-Jamil, her snoring delicate and ladylike as snoring could be but probably still more than she would ever admit to while awake, and her long form curled around Eleanor’s own. It was new, but felt completely comfortable. Almost like coming home.

* * *

Neither of them had had enough champagne to be hungover the next morning, and they more than made up for lost time from the previous night.

* * *

Tahani missed two events she’d planned over the next day. She didn’t care.

* * *

Although she’d raised far under her charity goal for the trip, and several people in her business were infuriated at the missed events, Tahani truly didn’t care. But she thought, as she curled her fingers around Eleanor’s on the first-class trip home, that maybe this trip had been a success after all.


End file.
